We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
