going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
