You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
