OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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