How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
