we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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