Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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