He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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