I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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