I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
