I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
