I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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