He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
