I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
50% drunk capacity currently
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
