Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
