12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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