If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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