I think im going to throw up on grandma
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
