Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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