I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
