Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
