So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
