You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
