I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
