I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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