I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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