guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
