I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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