i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
