I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
