In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
