so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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