Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
