I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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