i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
