Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
