I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
