Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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