i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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