is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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