its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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