i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
