one two three fourrrrnication!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
