I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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