i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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