sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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