i permit you to call me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
