im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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