peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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