Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
